Building Respect, Kindness & Community Through Grace & Courtesy
One of the foundational pillars of Montessori philosophy is grace and courtesy- the everyday lessons that help children learn how to treat themselves, others, and their environment with kindness, respect, and responsibility. This month, with our Harvest Day celebration and Thanksgiving coming up, we’re excited to share more about how these principles are woven into the daily life of our classrooms and how they can be reinforced at home.
Why Grace and Courtesy Matter
According to an article from the American Montessori Society (AMS), children learn grace and courtesy by observing and absorbing the behaviors of the world around them. When you model waiting your turn to speak, speaking kindly, or walking gently through a space, children begin to imitate those behaviors and internalize them as part of their own self-regulation and social interaction.
Similarly, Trillium Montessori emphasizes that grace and courtesy aren’t just “manners lessons”- they actually help children understand their place in the classroom community, how their actions affect others, and how to contribute to a peaceful, cooperative environment.
What it Looks like in the Classroom
Here are just a few ways we bring grace and courtesy into everyday routines:
Greeting classmates and teachers by name with eye contact and a warm “good morning.”
Showing how to carry a tray, push in a chair, roll up a work mat, or walk gently around others who are working.
Teaching how to wait patiently, ask for help kindly, or offer help without interrupting.
Modeling how to clean up after yourself, quietly walk in the classroom, and treat materials with care and respect.
How to Reinforce These Skills at Home
Here are some simple, meaningful ways to bring the same lessons into your home environment:
Model the behavior you’d like to see. Use kind words like “please”, “thank you”, “and excuse me.” Show calm movement and thoughtful language in front of your child.
Use natural moments as lessons. If a child rushes through a doorway or cuts in line, you could say, ‘Let’s try again by walking slowly and giving others room to go first”. These short statements help connect classroom habits to home habits.
Connect home and school routines. After school, you might ask: “What was your favorite lesson today?”, “Who did you help today at school?” These questions help your child reflect on their day and concretize their role in the classroom and at home.
Encourage small responsibilities. Invite your child to help set the table, carry their snack plate, tidy a bookshelf, or water a houseplant. These tasks give children a real sense of contribution and connection to their environment.
Grace and courtesy aren’t just about following rules- they’re about building a community in which each person feels safe, respected, and able to contribute. When children see these behaviors repeated at school and at home, they become habits rather than “just what we do in class” Thank you for being our partners in helping your child grow not only academically, but also socially and emotionally.