Grace & Courtesy: Little Lessons That Make a Big Difference

One of the many reasons to love the Montessori approach is that learning goes far beyond academics. Children are also learning how to be part of a community- how to communicate with others, care for their environment, solve problems, and show respect for themselves and those around them.

In Montessori, many of these skills fall under Grace and Courtesy. Throughout the school day, children practice things like greeting others, waiting for a turn, asking to join an activity, walking around someone else's work, using respectful words, caring for materials, and knowing what to do when a disagreement comes up.

While these may seem like small skills, they are building blocks for much bigger ones, including independence, empathy, self-regulation, confidence, and problem-solving.

An important part of Grace and Courtesy is that we don't expect children to simply know how to handle every social situation. Just like any other skill, we can show them, practice together, and give them opportunities to try again.

Try It at Home

Grace and Courtesy doesn't have to be a formal lesson! Everyday routines provide plenty of opportunities for practice. Children can help set the table, greet someone who comes to the door, practice ordering for themselves at a restaurant, wait while someone else finishes speaking, or help care for a shared space.

You can also try modeling what to do instead of only pointing out what not to do. For example, rather than just saying, "Don't interrupt," you might show your child how they can quietly let you know they need you while you're talking (e.g., placing their hand on your shoulder and waiting until you make eye contact with them; saying "excuse me"). If you're heading somewhere new, a quick practice or role-play beforehand can also go a long way.

And, of course, children learn so much simply by watching us. When they see adults listening, apologizing, helping others, speaking respectfully, and caring for their surroundings, they are seeing Grace and Courtesy in action.

The goal isn't perfect manners. It's giving children the tools and confidence to navigate their world with growing independence, kindness, and respect.

A Few Resources for Families

Grace & Courtesy: The Montessori Blueprint for Respect — American Montessori Society
A great overview of what Grace and Courtesy looks like in Montessori and why it is such an important part of the classroom.

Grace & Courtesy Stories — Montessori Services
Real-life examples of children putting Grace and Courtesy into practice both inside and outside of the classroom.

Teaching Grace and Courtesy in a Montessori Setting — Casa Dei Bambini Montessori
More examples of Grace and Courtesy lessons, including simple ways these skills can be supported at home.